Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
