She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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