I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
