8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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