Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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