You're completely useless in the revolution.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
