Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
