Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
