If that was your dad, he is hot
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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