This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
