Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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