at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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