I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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