Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
