I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
