and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
