Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
