Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
