Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
