I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
