just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize