So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
home. puking in laundry basket.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
