I'm so fucking centered right now
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
