i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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