Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
