dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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