guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
