don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize