Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

i just snorted my name. best moment ever

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(660): View more from Missouri

He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"

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(419): View more from Ohio

you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.

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(707): View more from California

He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".

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(518): View more from New York

I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?

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