oh god the rape fog is back!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
