He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
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