Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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