Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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