Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
