there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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