Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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