help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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