with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
