I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
