yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
