So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
