Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
