we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
