just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
