five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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