I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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