If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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