Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
