i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
