2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm so fucking centered right now
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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