I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
