Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
