More tranny stories later!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
