What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think my fart just growled at me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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