idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
