Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize