Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he had hair everywhere except his balls
did i just pee glitter
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
