hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
