Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
